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Posted onMarch 4, 2021March 3, 2021

New Hampshire State IDs Now Required to Display Whether a Person is Circumcised

Another bill passed by NH lawmakers this Wednesday continues a series of changes to the state’s driver licenses and IDs, the last change being from…

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Posted onMarch 1, 2021March 1, 2021

Child Dying From Cancer Last Wish Is For Mark Zuckerberg To Kill Him

Eleven-year-old Nick Boynton has been battling cancer for over a year now and his doctors say the end is near. Boynton’s parents reached out to…

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Posted onMay 31, 2020May 31, 2020

Black Police Officer Relieved He Can Murder Whoever He Wants Without Repercussion

Sargent Desmond Jones of the Detroit, MI, Police Department weighed in, earlier today, on his experience as an officer of color: “I’m just happy I…

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Posted onAugust 3, 2019November 24, 2019

New Fitbit Update Tracks Masturbation and Shames User Accordingly

The newest Fitbit update that launched today has a new and exciting feature! Users with a model “Versa” or later will now be able to…

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Posted onMay 15, 2019March 3, 2021

15% vs 20% – How Much Should You Tip A Hooker?

It’s safe to say, it’s common knowledge that whores don’t actually make very much money per hour of labor. Most of a prostitute’s income actually…

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Posted onMay 4, 2019May 4, 2019

Your Baby’s A Bitch If They Still Bathe Instead Of Showering

On average, a ten minute shower saves 16 gallons of water compared to a standard bath. It’s a fact that not many deny. Showering saves…

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Posted onMay 4, 2019May 4, 2019

Report: 83% Of Americans Think Mother Nature Is A “Big Gay”

A new survey shows that approximately 83% of Americans think that Mother Nature is a “big gay.” To clarify, this particular survey did not set…

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Posted onApril 24, 2019April 24, 2019

Paris Uses Donations to Build Hooters in Spot Opened Up by Notre Dame’s Destruction

The famous Notre Dame de Paris, which was destroyed on April 15th, 2019 in a fire which burned for 15 hours, quickly amassed over a…

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Posted onApril 22, 2019April 23, 2019

Local Man Surprisingly Still Single After Months of Messaging Girls on Xbox Live

As of 3 pm this afternoon, local man, Nick Boynton, age 22, is surprisingly still single, despite the past four grueling months spent messaging every…

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Posted onApril 15, 2019August 3, 2019

9/11 Study Shows Windmills May Have Blown Planes Off Course And Into Twin Towers

It’s a bad month for Windmills. On top of President Donald Trump’s claim that the clean energy leader is causing people cancer, new data has…

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