Man Born After 1985 Fails To Pull Off Just a Mustache

Nicholas Boynton, who was born sometime after 1985, has been growing a mustache for approximately 8 weeks, and as a surprise to no one, he’s not pulling it off.

Early reports say Boynton thought the look would be cool and might make him appear older and more mature. This, obviously, is not the case.

Boynton was born somewhere in the mid-90s, which was long after the year 1985. This lands Nicholas in the generation labeled “Millennials.” You would think everyone knows that mustaches just don’t look right on Millennials without a beard to accompany them. Clearly, Boynton didn’t get the memo. Or perhaps he thought the rules might not apply to him.

Sauce Time asked one of Boynton’s college classmates to describe Boynton’s new look and this is what she said:

“He’s too young to look like an eighties porn star, so he ends up looking like an army recruiter that would be on the sex offender registry, except the 15-year-old he slept with never told anyone, so he’s good.”

Boynton’s classmate

Well, there you have it, Folks. Men born after 1985 just can’t seem to make just a mustache work.

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