Scientists Still Searching For Socially Acceptable Use For Facebook’s “Wave” Feature

Scientists over at Oak Ridge National Laboratory have been hard at work trying to crack one of the Human Race’s biggest mysteries: what makes Facebook’s “wave” feature OK?

In an attempt solve this mystery, the research lab have been running vigorous simulated tests with both real life Facebook users and high tech artificial intelligence. So far, all tests have come back negative.

“We tested all kinds of situations whether it be friendly coworkers or mothers checking in on their children. All tests ended with both parties feeling awkward and uncomfortable.” Stated one worker from the lab. “We even went as far as to sign a dog up for Facebook and had his owner wave at him. The dog simply whimpered and put his tail between his legs upon seeing the wave in his chat.”

Another worker went on to explain, “We were hoping to launch some tests with volunteers on hard psychedelics receiving a Facebook wave, hoping maybe that would be the one socially acceptable time to receive one, but the CDC didn’t seem to like that idea very much.”

As of now, the Facebook “wave” will remain one of nature’s mysteries. We’ll keep you updated on their progress so stay tuned.

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