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Posted onApril 29, 2021April 28, 2021

I Believe In Species Equality. Dogs Don’t Wipe Their Ass. Neither Do I.

For years, humanity has been plagued with various inequalities. Thankfully, the past century has been spent working to correct many of these inequalities. Women can…

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Posted onApril 12, 2021April 12, 2021

In Infinite Multiverse, Exists Parallel Earth With Competitive Fart Sucking, Scientist Hypothesizes

Renown Theoretical Physicist, Nicholas Boynton Ph.D. released an extensive thesis paper last Thursday on the hypothetical existence of a parallel Earth. More specifically, a parallel…

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Posted onApril 9, 2021April 9, 2021

Humble President, Joe Biden Prefers People Just Call Him “Phil”

On January 20th, 2021, Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. was sworn in as the 46th President of The United States of America. This title comes with…

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Posted onApril 5, 2021April 7, 2021

College Accused of Whitewashing Has 134 Whiteboards and 3 Blackboards

It’s a bad day for Michigan Technological University, a college which already draws backlash for having a student base made up of 89.7% white students.…

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Posted onMarch 29, 2021March 29, 2021

10 Reasons Why I’m Thankful For My Wife’s Boyfriend

When my wife broke the news to me that she had a boyfriend, I was initially very jealous. She is my wife after all. But…

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Posted onMarch 24, 2021March 24, 2021

Foreign Facebook Man Calculates Probability of Girl Replying After 17th “Hey”

“There’s an entire calculation behind it.” says an anonymous foreign Facebook user. After multiple reports of an anonymous foreign man messaging woman repeatedly on Facebook,…

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Posted onMarch 16, 2021March 16, 2021

Lost 1993 Power Rangers Episode Reveals Tommy Canonically Had Syphilis

A lost episode from 1993’s Mighty Morphin Power Rangers television series recently was leaked online from an anonymous source. The episode has a very unique…

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Posted onMarch 12, 2021March 11, 2021

Sleeping With Socks On? You May Share Qualities With Hitler

Are you one of those people who needs an extra layer on your feet in order to sleep comfortably? Well, I have news for you.…

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Posted onMarch 8, 2021March 7, 2021

Man On Hold For 30 Mins Finally Understands Suffering of Native Americans During Trail of Tears

Area Man, Nick Boynton, was stuck on hold for over 30 mins yesterday evening when he attempted to call Comcast customer support over a recent…

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Posted onMarch 6, 2021March 5, 2021

Man Born After 1985 Fails To Pull Off Just a Mustache

Nicholas Boynton, who was born sometime after 1985, has been growing a mustache for approximately 8 weeks, and as a surprise to no one, he’s…

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